OK I have to admit, that I am an overly protective mom. When they were babies, I never trusted anyone to look after them. My husband is not always around (due to his nature of job), so I have mastered the skill of managing two tiny tots on my own (with occasional help from my family and friends, of course). As they grew, I learnt to let go.. bit by bit. I can go to meetings, gatherings or makan date without having to bring them now. And they’re not so keen on tailing me too. So having a play-date at Opah’s is the most anticipated thing for them.
Looking back, I thought ‘where did all the years go?’ Once they were newborn, bundled in baby blankets, so small and fragile. And next they’re this talking little man and woman who jumps and screams and spread toys all over the house and ask very deep question like ‘is the judgement day around the corner, coz it’s been flooding around the world and with all the earthquakes and tsunamis and volcanoes and wars going on.. it’s near, right mom?’. And continued playing as if what he asked was just ‘why is the composition of nitrogen in the atmosphere is 79% and oxygen is only 20%? aren’t human breathe on oxygen? why do we need nitrogen that much?’ Well, actually he did asked me on that one too. Hahah.
What sort of questions would you expect your kids to ask? The time would come when they come to you and ask about the birds and the bees. Would you ask them to look it up for themselves. ‘Google it, mate.’ Or would you take your time and explain it to them as sagacious as you can.
With all the social ills and immorality issues going on, it’s hard to control whatever information our kids absorb from around them. Plus the western influences of music and culture, drug addiction, unsafe sex, baby dumping, stealing, gangster-ism, human trafficking, abducting, rape, vandalism, remp-it and even murder, we live in fear that we can never cocoon our children into safety forever. One way or another, whether we like it or not, we have to let our kids go. See the world. Learn. Experience life.
What we do is to guide them.
The most challenging years would be the teenage years where hormones and peer pressure take over and we will face the toughest task of all. During this time, there would be almost nothing we can do to make them behave or plainly do as they’re told. If by forcing them to listen or obey to our rules would make them run away or become more rebellious or resent us even more, we become helpless and blame ourselves as failures, then I say we should find a win-win solution.
Start from when they’re small. Be their friend. Get involve in their lives. Develop a warm and tight bond with our children. If we have a strong healthy relationship with our kids, believe me it will flourish right until their adulthood. Dan yang paling penting.. dekatkan mereka dengan agama. Sekiranya spiritual mereka bersih, maka insyaAllah ianya akan terpancar dengan sendiri.
image borrowed from the internet